Retrograde
by Melodic Flow
Summary: Even in the most inconsequential of things, Uchiha Sasuke was suddenly... everywhere. SasuHina.
1. Prologue

**Retrograde**

_in the aftermath of anguish, i find you._

**Prologue**

She is finally allowed outside today.

Her footsteps do not make a sound on the wooden floorboards as she makes her way to the gates. A tranquil kind of grace lingers in the shadow of her moves, evident in how the slight turn of her wrist when she slides open the shoji door does not resemble death. Nor does the curve of her ankle in a sidestep of a sakura blossom; the paleness of her shoulder blades. Death in itself is violent, there is barely any trace of it in her countenance; mercy has long since filled the gaps in its place.

Hinata lightly runs, the blades of grass shifting in her wake. This will be good for her stiff muscles, the lingering traces of atrophy.

The market place is not crowded at this time of day. Thank the gods.

"Ah, Hinata-sama, this place hasn't seen you for a while!" The lady who sells her bread has always been kind. "Right, right. Go on dear, help yourself to all these here. My sale has gone down in the past few weeks, Sashi knows... " She is also rather talkative.

"Chiharu-san, there are no more cinnamon rolls left?"

"Oh dearie, someone already bought them all for the day. You can always try others, I make excellent curry bread."

Hinata smiles, though her tongue prefers much over curry, and thanks her.

"I'll have some tomorrow, dearie!"

On her way home she encounters an injured bird by the banks of the river. She takes out the balm she carries everywhere, drapes the waxy substance on the wing. Her hand smells faintly of rosewater and herbs. She does not mind this small act of mercy or kindness, often viewed to be a discrepancy in her world of death as a ninja. She knows, and does not mind.

There is no need. There is enough death in the seal branded on her forehead anyway.

* * *

She wears a bandage around her head. She does so not out of shame, but of custom. It helps that it makes her feel less naked.

"And then and then, she slaaaps me on da head! Can you b'lieve thaat?" Ino is already drunk. The rookie nine are out for drinks, with team 10 having just finished their mission. Hinata attends, this too out of custom. "But good thing my forehead is small, riiight, For-head-gurl?"

"So is your brain, Ino," Sakura isn't so sober anymore too.

"Was that an insult?"

"Nope."

The rest of the rookies aren't better off either. Conversations fill the whole room, the corners left silent. There is a forced kind of normalcy that hangs in the air, stale like bread, as if her absence never happened. Hinata doesn't know if she should feel sad about this at all.

"Wahahha, you gettin' that shit all over - oomph."

"I'm too old for this."

"I am telling you - the bastard died of erotic asphyxiation! Creative nimwit!"

"Ero - whaa? You look like shit, Shika."

"He can't even hear you!"

The bar is a mess. Scraps of food wrappers litter the floor, accompanied by stains of an assortment of drinks. The stench of sake and sweat is growing stronger, but nobody minds. On one table are Naruto and Kiba, fighting, and slumped on the edge is Shikamaru, sleeping. Chouji is eating beside them, but that's all he ever does in these things.

Hinata's eyes roam around the room, feeling odd. Even amongst the chatter and the people, the room is strangely incomplete.

"Kiba is getting piss-drunk. Why?" Shino's drink is left untouched. "He is worried, as am I." At the sound of his voice Hinata's eyes soften; he was never one for small talk.

"It would be nice if we could train together again, tomorrow." There is a single beat of silence before Shino turns to look at her, one hand gripping her shoulder. Hinata forces her fingers to stop trembling as she takes a sip. It takes all of her control not to jump in shock when Kiba comes out of nowhere and almost spills her drink, vulnerably burying his head in the juncture between her head and shoulder. Stays there.

The moment stretches out.

The familiar whiff of earth and musk makes its way to her nose, obscured by all the alcohol. The scent clogs up her throat, makes her want to cry, but it's Kiba who does. Her fingers are almost steady against his head. Shino's grip gets tighter, and before long her eyes clog up too. It refused to stay in her throat.

"I - missed you, " she murmurs, the words almost failing to form. _I am allowed outside again, _she wants to say. _I can see you again._ She feels her skin react to Kiba's halting breaths. He is breathing harder now and does not speak. Her fingers move in calming circular motions against his scalp. "I missed you."

The moment stretches: this is blessed relief.

The cage feels tighter than ever.

* * *

**AN:** Review! Tell me what you think, so as to improve. =)


	2. Redolence

_in the aftermath of anguish, i find you._**  
**

* * *

**I. Redolence**

The leaves rustle by the garden outside her room and she stares at the rapidly congealing blood in her hands: she's been coughing up blood for some time now.

Hinata doesn't worry though. Her father told her a fortnight ago about her circumstances. Coughing up blood is expected. Migraines and the occasional headache are to be expected as well.

_This is the price_, he had said.

She washes the blood off and heads outside. The hallways are relatively quiet, but she supposes she'll get used to the lack of greetings after some time. Not now though, with the taste of iron still clinging to her throat.

Hinata arrives at the hospital a few minutes later and takes everything in. The tang of antiseptic that sticks to the walls, the flurry of movement and the murmurs leave her feeling a bit restless. She takes two flights of stairs and enters the second room to the right, where Sakura is already. Hinata has always thought her friend to be rather pretty, in a determined kind of way. She likes seeing Sakura's eyes.

"Hinata-chan, have a seat." Sakura's hand motions to the couch opposite where she sits on a stool, occupied. There is a made-up bed by the other corner, with a vase of hydrangea beside it.

"Sakura-san, ah, good morning."

Sakura puts down the files she was inspecting then turns to her. Hinata feels rather warm. She sighs.

"Would you like me to -"

"Ah, i-it's okay, I can... " Hinata hurriedly unties the bandage on her forehead, flustered. A moment later she feels the soft probing of Sakura's chakra and tries not to recoil. It always feels weird and pleasant and kind of warm, like bread fresh out of the oven, or tepid coffee.

It feels longer than it is before it's over. Sakura hums quietly, then reaches for a white plastic bag by the soles of her feet and gives it to Hinata after she finishes wrapping her head. "Here. The ones in white packets are for headaches, you have to take them twice a day, 10 - 12 hours between. And the plastic container is for your body in general, helps it recuperate, but of course you have to move about more and do some exercises," She looks at her worriedly then, "I suppose you've had spasms?"

"Ano, once or twice... " Sakura's eyes are unflinching. "Maybe more."

She notes this down.

"When was the last time you coughed up blood?"

"An hour ago." This too.

"Well your body isn't used to the seal - like an infringement - and this takes time, probably another month." Her voice turns progressively harsh then. "Obviously something's going to happen, those seals are bound to nerves and chakra pathways closely tied to blood vessels and honestly, there's a reason the sealing is done so early, didn't they even think - " She stops herself. Looks at Hinata. "Sorry."

She shrugs. "It's okay." It has to be. "Thank you, Sakura-san. I th-think I'll take my leave, uhm, I still have training this afternoon." She goes for the door, mind already on her team.

"Hinata," she stops and, right foot just outside the doorway, finds herself engulfed in a hug. Sakura's words almost bury themselves in her clothes. "Have they - have your memories come back?"

"No, " a pause, and the slight huff of breath, "Chichi-ue said they probably won't."

Hinata leaves the doorway open.

* * *

She arrives at training ground five, senses tingling. The afternoon warmth traces the nape of her neck as she takes stock of her surroundings. Nothing much has changed, as far as she could tell. Small craters cover the expanse of the forest floor, clumps of grass here and there. A rough patch of road that leads to a forest. Two tree stumps to her left, and all too suddenly she moves, heel twisting as a kunai zooms by. This is a greeting.

She smiles. "Shino-kun."

"What gave me away?" He stands before her then, hands tucked in pockets. Impassive. Content.

"I saw a kikai bug on the tree stump." She stifles a giggle. "Ano, I can do some light spars and exercises, though I still can't use my Byakugan. Chichi-ue was kind enough to train me the past weeks."

"I'm informed that Kiba seems to have other plans."

"Oh? What could - hello, Akamaru-kun." Her question is interrupted by Akamaru tackling her to the ground, Kiba following behind him. He reaches them a second later, then ruffles her hair. Kiba, in contrast to Shino, is physically affectionate. It comes with having lots of dogs, he told her once.

And Hinata feels even before it crosses her mind that this is a little bit of home. Love and familiarity runs through the lines of their bodies. Shino almost always has his hands in his pockets, and Kiba never fails to show his teeth. She briefly wonders if she could find lost words in their veins. That maybe 'home' or 'friends' are etched just beneath their skin.

"It's good to have you back."

"It's only been a month." Hinata almost feels abashed. Almost.

"Hell yeah a month too long!" Kiba grins. His fangs seem to have grown longer. "Up for some lunch? Let's just train tomorrow, right now we have some catching up to do. And later," at this he hangs his arms around Hinata and a disgruntled Shino, "let's go for a run."

He smiles so wide she couldn't help but smile too.

Running with their team is something they've always done, whatever the occasion. It's simple and exhilirating. It's a form of release.

"Alright then."

* * *

The run left her with a horrible headache. She needs a cup of hot tea.

Hinata can't find it in herself to feel regret however - she feels terribly alive. The daze that settled at the floor of her consciousness begins to dissipate, slowly, like deep sighs as a prelude to sleep. She realizes how oddly detached she has been feeling recently. Fingers skim her forehead, breaths come uneven. There are no tears, instead, she smiles.

_This is for Hanabi. _

It has always been that way.

And this is more than just duty or inadequacy. Hinata knows how it feels to hold something so tiny in her hand, remembers drawing shapes on her skin, on the contours of her fingers. The baby had opened her eyes and Hinata knew then, as well as she does now, what it means to be an older sister.

Their life comes before yours.

She doesn't remember much about the sealing, just that it was painful. It had been a month ago. She suffered bouts of unconsciousness for a few days after. She could barely move. It became hard to recognize herself. And now her body bears the consequences.

This is the toll. This is the price.

Hinata wonders if she knew she would lose her memories. _The seal had burnt chakra pathways_, her father had said, eyes blank, _and affected your memories_. _How far gone, I cannot tell, but rest assured I have informed those needed to be informed. _

Things are muddy in her head still, but it's getting better. She will train as she had done. This is something she could do for her body, although the same can't be said for the blank slate in her mind. But no matter. Kiba and Shino and Neji-nii said they would help.

She reaches the tea café at the edge of the dirt road. Enters. The sound of the flowing water beside it disappears with the closing door.

A waitress takes her order - a cup of hibiscus tea her home lacks - and leaves. Hinata stares unseeingly, head bowed, fingers lightly massaging the sides. Just a little further and her forehead would make contact with the table's edge. She stifles a moan.

The tea arrives. Her eyes close. A few minutes pass and then -

"For the blood," someone says, so lowly she almost doesn't hear it.

Her head snaps, turns to look, but he is already behind the door., barely closing it. She realizes two things: one, she had bitten her lip so hard it bled, and two, she didn't hear him approach, not at all. But there was no ill-intent; she would have reacted had it been the case. There is barely anyone in the café. The smell of hibiscus wafts through her nose, sticks to her clothes. It feels warm.

She shifts her attention back to her tea and sees the handkerchief the man left her with. It's white, with black leaves curving along the edge - simple, the kind that she would buy. Leisurely she lets her fingers hover over the slight protrusions of the leaves, stops, then asks the waitress for some tissues to spare. Though she sensed no ill-intent, she would not take chances. It would be a shame to use it for such purposes anyway, the handkerchief is finely embroidered. The leaves had lines to mark their veins, and they curl at the bottom around a red... fan.

She stares at it for a while, curious. Wipes the blood off her face, then stares some more.

It's the symbol of the Uchiha Clan.

Carefully she picks it up - no man would logically use this symbol for any matter at all - deciding it is safe. Is it possible that Uchiha Sasuke, the lone survivor of the Uchiha Clan, graced her with an act of kindness in the form of a handkerchief? She strangely feels like crying.

Hinata stands up to leave after finishing her tea, headache gone.

On her way home she tries not to think about the handkerchief, or that it smelled a little like lavender blossoms.

* * *

**.**

**.**

**Notes: **I hope to establish the relationship between Team 8, how they are important to Hinata. She's been kind of detached, and I tried to express that she's trying to cope with that, and that she's not one to mope over in misery. I was thinking if people noticed the contrast in the prologue, how she's allowed outside and yet is still caged. Anyway in this chapter I basically gave the plot already, in a way. And a bit of who Hinata is which will come in handy. What do guys think?

Anyway thank you so much for the reviews **hyuugalove, nuriiko, Breezy2319, nomore0987654 **and** Delicatelyplaced**! Seeing those reviews meant a lot to me =)


	3. The Color of Hibiscus

_in the aftermath of anguish, i find you._

* * *

**II. The Color of Hibiscus**

"One more and we're good."

Hinata nods, breath hitching, and slides into stance: left foot forward, right heel pivoted to maximize movement. Her hands shake a little from exhaustion before she breathes, takes mouthfuls of oxygen to course through her system. _One. Two. _

Another count later and she moves.

With a diagonal swipe of her arm she engages her sparring partner in a series of attacks. The speed and fluidity of her movements are barely enough to make him lose breath. She tries not to mind.

The way Neji fights, there are barely any openings. He is swift and precise, definite; almost nothing unnecessary.

Sometimes she wishes it were otherwise.

The spar doesn't last much longer - a traditional back kick that Neji parries with his arm changes the momentum to his advantage - and she is down on the ground, pinned under him, kunai on the nape of her neck. She relishes the cool feel of soil against her flushed cheeks as the sounds of late morning filter through. Neji stands from above her and extends a hand. She hesitates, but takes it in the end. "_Arigatou_."

He gives her a brief nod before advising her to run through several katas to stretch their muscles. They retrieve the kunai and shuriken scattered in their training field afterwards. Hinata watches him while doing so, a slight smile on her face.

Again, nothing unnecessary.

She prepares jasmine tea for them and they take sips of it on the wooden porch. They are quiet; do not speak for a few minutes. "Neji-niisan," she says then, bare feet on grass, propping herself up, "_Ano_... would you like anything from the market? I'll be heading there, it really wouldn't be a b-bother." He considers her for only a moment.

"That is thoughtful of you, Hinata-sama, but I have already the things I need."

She stares at the sky for a moment, then shakes her head.

"It's not..." she whispers, voice as soft as the smile on her face. Neji looks at her in askance. She faces him. "Please, call me Hinata."

She sees it - in the lines of his face, the slightest down curve of his brows as he scrutinizes her. His eyes flicker to her forehead for less than a second, trying to find the connection there. This isn't the first time she made the request (and hopefully the last), but the circumstances are different now. And Neji, after a while, realizes this too.

Resignation never is and never was her fuel to be addressed without an honorific. Neji doesn't find it on her face, on the curve of her spine, on the tips of her fingers. Her stance speaks volumes of acceptance, and those are two different things. There is perhaps a bit of sadness or anger, but there is none of that weary bitterness, vile and familiar and cultivated too long.

(_This is where they're different._)

He rises, stands before her. Fingers tracing through the forehead protector his own seal, branded for the rest of his life.

"The way I see it, Hinata-sama," he emphasizes her name, eyes somewhere above her shoulder, "The person worthy of my loyalty continues to deserve it. Nothing has changed." He walks away from her then and picks up the cups, still half-full. Before his hand closes around the _shoji_ door he tells her, "I'm afraid I ran out of some _nori_," and slides the door shut. A few leaves scatter about, one landing on the outstretched palm of her hand.

So maybe there are things he doesn't do out of necessity.

The kindness in his eyes and words etches itself in her mind, permanently.

* * *

After purchasing some _nori_ for her cousin, she stops by the bread shop on the edge of the market place. Beside said shop are a few vendors with fresh fruits and grains of rice. The dirt road stains the heels of her sandals, and even before proceeding inside she smells dough, butter and a variety of flavors in the air.

"Ah, ohaiyou Hinata-chan!" The kind woman wipes a bit of flour off her cheek. Unintentionally adds some more."We have cinnamon rolls today."

"Ohaiyou, Chiharu-san. Have you been well?" She goes to the rack full of cinnamon rolls. They smell heavenly.

"As well as a woman like me can be." Hinata smiles upon hearing her laugh, carrying a basket filled with plain bread and cinnamon rolls. She gives her the basket for purchase, notices the chalk-like dust on her cheeks. "Ano, Chiharu-san, you have a b-bit of flour on your face," she says, hurriedly trying to find in her person something to wipe it with.

Chiharu gently nudges her on the elbow. "It's alright dearie, I have a box of tissues."

The sight of her wiping her cheeks reminds Hinata of a very important task for the day: returning the Uchiha his handkerchief. It's currently in her pocket - the reason she forgot her own - and it's burning her through the fabric of clothes. She sighs tiredly, pays for the cinnamon with murmurs of thanks and walks out the shop.

_I need to return it soon._

One dilemma lies in her lack of interest in his activities. She doesn't remember ever giving much thought to his daily life, and is thus clueless where he possibly might be. Although this could easily be rectified by asking the few people who might know, disturbing the Hokage is out of the question. Therein lies the second dilemma: Sakura is out on a mission - and Kami-sama knows where Kakashi is or what he's doing - leaving Uzumaki Naruto, his acclaimed best friend.

Hinata can't even make the excuse of not knowing Naruto's whereabouts - she knows these things like the back of her hand.

Presenting: an excellent stalker.

Having lost some of her memories, she is conflicted on where she stands with him. Although she saw him not two or three days ago, her general state was so muddled she had no time to ponder such things. She is excited, the emotion burbling softly somewhere inside, but for the most part is a mere reluctance.

Regardless, she does feel happy at the chance to see him again, for whatever the reason.

The ramen stand should still be a few blocks down the streets. Change had accumulated prominently in town, present in the infrastractures she doesn't know of. To her immediate left is an established bakery, a few meters ahead are food stands. Broken buildings. Deserted houses. Still cracked cement.

She finds it wonderful and terrifying at the same time.

A few nervous beats and she arrives. There is Naruto.

The heat of boiling water marks the ramen stand, along with the aroma of spices, meat and miso. Everything curls around Naruto in her eyes. Basking in his presence.

She is not an exception.

"Heya, Hinata-chan!" This is said through a flurry of noodles.

"H-How are you doing, Naruto-kun?"

"Great! Wonderful! I should be the one asking, nyehehe."

"I am f-fine," she stutters out, notices 'old man Ichiraku' smiling kindly at them, "_Ohaiyou_, Ichiraku-san. One bowl of miso please."

"_Ohaiyou_ Hinata-san. One bowl of miso coming right up, eh!"

"Ne ne_ jiji_, 'nother bowl for me too!"

"_Hai hai_." He returns to his pot of boiling ingredients.

"Seriously though, Hinata-chan, you doing okay?" His face scrunches up in worry, concern tugging the corners of his lips. And she allows herself to really look at him, at his longer hair and flushed cheeks. No scars but the whisker marks are still there; broader back and eyes still the same as ever.

Looking at him after such a long time makes her feel endless.

"Not that I'm prying or anything like that... s'just Sakura-chan told me some stuff y'know? Nothing confidential of course, just some... stuff."

"What did she say?"

"Well everyone - I mean the rookie nine - knows that your memories uhm, that you don't remember much. Or some." She can't help but laugh at his flustered appearance. He's flinging his hands everywhere, chopsticks clicking together in a random beat. "Sakura-chan was reaaaal worried and so she told us about it, said she doesn't want it to be awkward for you, that we'd help 'cause we're your friends y'know?"

This is the pillow to her fall - Sakura's own brand of kindness. Naruto's happiness with Sakura is the vaccine; it stings, but it's something that's good for her, calms her down. Like the uncertainties along the coils of her every muscle went slack. Naruto's heart is his own. It did not choose her. It never did.

The steam signals her food. She picks up her chopsticks and eats.

"I really am doing okay. Things will be... confusing, but everyone will help me, _ne_? I'm not going to give up." She smiles at him, brightly.

He returns it ten-fold.

"Yeah, you won't." He gives her a fist bump. She thinks it's her heart that flutters.

He goes off into his usual brain-to-mouth rambles once he knows everything is okay, and it feels good to hear him like this - unbridled (and the tiniest bit unhinged). He tells her about his day, that he's off for a mission in two weeks with all these diplomats and money-hungry merchants, that Shikamaru will come with him 'cause he's smart and they will kick-ass and butcher all the unfortunate thugs getting in their way and that _Hinata-can, did you know, bananas are actually berries?_

"So are tomatoes. Ano, Naruto-kun," she says, "Do you perhaps know where Uchiha-san is?"

He stops, puts his chopsticks down and looks at her for a long time. His voice turns a bit lower when he speaks, barely noticeable.

"He's usually at training ground seven or thirteen, if not he's prolly at home. He just returned from a mission yesterday."

"Arigato."

The almost one-sided conversation continues and before long both of them have to go, exchanging goodbye's and see-you-again's. She leaves with more than just the taste of ramen at the back of her tongue.

She doesn't know what to make of that look he had, but the same could not be said for the band of gold around one of his fingers.

It doesn't hurt so much anymore.

* * *

Hinata finds him at training ground seven.

Sasuke is moving in lethal circles around a tree stump, over and under projectiles with ease. He swings himself in the air; arched body parallel to the ground. His right arm pivots in an arc to deflect a kunai from behind him with the hilt of his _katana_, then above him, then under him. His eyes remain closed.

She makes her presence known through the slightest sound of her footfalls, though suspects he already knew. A few meters away from him and he lands on the stump, then on the ground, body still turned away. He seals his weapons in his scroll, tucks it in his pouch. His shoulders rise slightly from the air he inhales.

"_Konnichiwa_, Uchiha-san," she says clearly.

She doesn't know why, but feels thankful nonetheless, that she isn't so terrified of him she could hardly move. But to make up for it are her nerves, one she's trying to hide, but isn't so sure if it was succeeding. Something about him instills tension - his appearance or name or reputation, it doesn't really matter, just that it makes people feel queasy. And she never had to interact with him like this before, in the training ground farthest from the civilization.

He turns to her as soon as she speaks, stares at her bandaged forehead (quite rudely though Hinata doesn't mind), then at the tree to her left. Nods. "Hinata."

For a moment she is tongue-tied. Words don't form in her throat, somehow saying '_I thank you for the handkerchief'_ or '_I am here to return your handkerchief_' or '_Here thankyousomuch__bye_' (the last of which she favors heavily) doesn't just cut it. Even a branch house member knows how to show gratitude and proper decorum, especially to someone as, ah, esteemed as him. She has practiced this a hundred times in her head, but the words come out in a stutter anyway.

"W-Would you care for tea?" She doesn't look at him.

Somehow the mantra in her mind - _treat this as a business deal treat this as a business_ - has failed to work.

She bites the inside of her lip.

_This is a terrible idea. _

She realizes only now that to get to any tea cafe required them walking together for quite some time. It would have been better had he been in training ground seven, but since he's Uchiha Sasuke, he would obviously prefer this one. Being away from all the people rendered it peaceful. The gentle thrum of life vibrates in the blades of grass beneath her sandal-covered feet. Wet earth and a bit of sulphur permeates the air. There's a big crater off to the side; she wonders if she could hide in it.

Buried three feet in her misery she almost fails to notice him walking away, if not for him stopping to ask, "Which one?"

The world is full of surprises today.

* * *

The walk together, to her surprise, wasn't embarrassingly awkward.

It was merely quiet.

She supposes Sasuke isn't really one for light conversation. He doesn't do things that are superfluous, like Neji. She didn't mind - she liked the quiet, and tried not to exacerbate the situation by making a fool of herself. There's a reason he's reserved.

During the walk she distracted herself making patterns out of rocks; they took a different route by the side of a small forest, out of prying eyes. She was sure she made out a kind of bird when they reached the familiar dirt road and entered the cafe.

They seat themselves far from the door and a waitress takes their orders, the same one from yesterday. It doesn't take long before she arrives back with them. She stares at her cup of hibiscus tea then at his assam black one. The colors are almost the same: that of clear, diluted blood. The tea makes its way to his lips and she decides to speak.

"Uchiha-san. You've been h-here before." The supposed to be question comes out as a statement. She looks at his eyes for one second, then back to his hands. Gathers her resolve, and forces herself to maintain proper eye contact.

She is surprised when he looks away.

"Many times," he murmurs.

She sketches the carvings on the tea cup with her finger and he stays perfectly still, elbows off the table, posture straight. The skeletal line of her back suggests composure and elegance, although she is far from feeling so. Nevertheless, it is a vast improvement from her hunchback days.

"Then I h-have something of yours," she tells him, reaches for the handkerchief in her pocket - neatly folded. She hands it to him over the polished wood, and when he takes it from her, their hands don't brush.

Her tea is still half-full. "I wanted to thank you f-for yesterday. Y-You were kind enough t-to lend it to me. I," she pauses, takes in air and continues, "I would l-like to return the favor someday." She has little trouble looking at him to show her sincerity since his eyes stay fixated on the handkerchief.

"Ano, _arigatou_." She repeats, shyly.

After a while he says -

"I don't want it." The shock is evident on her face, his eyebrows crease. "Keep it."

"B-But I - " _I cleaned it - I didn't even use it!_

The look he gives her silences any protests. It's the first time her eyes meet his, and they are of black stone: stern and blank. It has the same shade as his hair.

"Alright," she whispers. She takes the handkerchief that he slides over to her. Pockets it. They burn her a little more now.

He finishes his tea rather hurriedly and they prepare to leave. Once they are outside he faces her. "Thank you for the tea," he says lowly, almost as if they were forced through his trachea. He nods at her and walks away, not waiting for a reply.

She heads home. The western sun is in the middle of descent.

_We probably won't meet anytime soon,_ she thinks with a bit of relief, not certain if she could handle it.

She is proven wrong the next day.

* * *

.

.

.

**Notes**: Neji continues to call her as he always has. The bird she was able to make out is a hawk - yes, Sasuke reference. So are the tomatoes. The smell of sulphur in the training ground is due to him using lightning techniques.

It's quite noticeable, the general plot I mean. I want everyone to know early on. I'm not really trying to hide it, it's another point I'm trying to make.

THANK YOU SO MUCH TO EVERYONE WHO REVIEWED. REALLY. I want to reply, but I have to sleep now.

Question: what do you see happening?

I just edited some grammar mistakes. =)


	4. It Doesn't Matter

_it's your voice i will always call back to._

* * *

**III. It Doesn't Matter.**

Kiba reaches for a slice of beef over the table and accidentally knocks down a glass with his elbow, spilling lemonade on Hinata, who would have gotten out of the way had it not been for the rather restricted space.

"Oh shi-"

It's only with Shino's reflexes that the glass doesn't land on the floor.

"You are supposed to be a ninja."

"Shit. I am so sorry, Hinata-chan! Here, let me just – "

"It's okay, Kiba-kun."

He grabs several tissues and dumps a few of them on the liquid, hands the others over to Hinata. He would try wiping it off her, but the slowly darkening spot on her clothes is near something… inappropriate. She's laughing quietly at his unease, pouring a bit of water on the dampness on her clothes. Lemonade seldom leaves stains right away; the danger comes in leaving the juice on for too long. The acetic acid present acts as a bleaching agent, especially when exposed to sunlight.

Her team is out for lunch; Shino is set to leave for a mission in Wave. They're in a restaurant in the middle of town rumored to be serving palatable okonomiyaki, with thick glass panels for windows and black marble for the floor. The light from outside still filters through, the sky a nostalgic shade of orange. The sunlight casts shadows over the table made from oak, with curves and spirals covering its expanse. And lemonade, but Kiba is working on that.

Hinata folds the tissues in half and wipes herself with small pats. Tissues tend to disintegrate rather easily, and would leave particles of it on her clothes. The action reminds her of the Uchiha's handkerchief and his arguably hasty exit. It had seemed her company was fine until it wasn't, and she didn't really know how to feel about that. She took the handkerchief home with her and placed it on her dressing table, the Uchiha crest hidden in between the folds.

_Maybe he wanted to get rid of it?_

The thought wasn't unlikely, although it stands to reason that he wouldn't have procured it had he not wanted it in the first place. Things like that were probably custom-made. The handkerchief wasn't worn out; the contrast of colors still stood sharply, the crest, crisp. It wasn't necessarily new, but it certainly wasn't several years old. He had it after the… massacre.

"Relinquish your title as a ninja."

"I didn't mean to hit it, Shino!"

"Exactly."

She definitely doesn't want to think about the infamous massacre. Through force her mind strays onto other topics, like Kiba's non-existent haircut and Shino's new glasses that looks the same as his previous one. Kiba's clicking his chopsticks at him to make a point – something about accidents being marginally better than accidents with a purpose – and Akamaru is waiting outside by the window, busy chasing random insects that are probably Shino's, because dogs weren't allowed inside. She takes a piece of okonomiyaki in her mouth and washes it down with water, then tries to calm down Kiba enough to keep him just a little bit quiet.

"…apparently an ancestor of ours put the black widow's poison to use."

"Hokage-sama keeps some of those right?" Kiba asks, twirling his chopsticks in one hand.

"She keeps them for medical purposes. Officially she has a few vials worth," Hinata wipes a smudge of sauce off his cheeks, laughing, "But in reality the amount is... different."

"Different?"

"It's assumed she has more. Why? These arachnids aren't normally found in Konoha, although a climate such as ours would permit them to grow. There is a certain limit placed to the amount of things you obtain from other countries," Shino patiently explains.

"Oh man, she could have gotten them like, you know… " Kiba waggles his eyebrows at them,expression criminally excited.

"Yes, Kiba, through means not approved of. Or it could be a countermeasure in case someone tries to steal them. How? The Hokage tower has seve-"

"Aren't there at least three rules of conduct we're, I dunno, violating here?"

"Calm down, Kiba-kun," Hinata giggles, "You won't get arrested, although you interrupted Shino-kun."

"Yes. Might I remind you that I do not appreciate being interrupted."

"Yeah? You're as sensitive as a bug Shino!"

Cue in heavy laughter and a disgruntled Shino, whose hands lie folded on the table. This moment counts as one of the few when he loosens up, muscles relaxed but ready, shoulders down. His fingernails are meticulously cut like always - a precautionary measure. _It helps in holding delicate things such as insects_, he told her once. Her eyes follow the subtle marks of consideration in his well-kept hands, down to the physical marks of broken curves on the table's surface. The craggy lines running across it remind her of her stutter: the transit of her words are jagged as well.

The marks are found everywhere.

"I talked to Naruto-kun yesterday."

Slight shifts of expression appear on Kiba's face. They are of worry. "And? How'd it go?"

"It was okay. I noticed I… didn't stutter as much." She smiles. "I'm hoping not to stutter at all."

Kiba smiles even wider as Shino says, "You might not find that difficult at all."

"Hinata-chan, you've stopped stuttering since – since… when was it again?"

"I cannot recall exactly as well. It happened gradually."

She doesn't see it, but there is a glow in her face building up from their words. Her lips are slightly parted, her breathing slow. The air she inhales mirrors the hope lodged in her chest, as if by slowing it down prevented the hope from overflowing. The happiness she finds in having lost her stutter makes her laugh. Somehow this served as a testimony – that things do change. And not always for the worst.

She knows she can do it again, somehow – that she would try, and try and try, no matter how many times it takes. She knew it the moment Kiba smiled. Her confidence may be lacking in some areas, but there are certain things she believes in. Like Naruto's promises. Like her team's faith in her.

"Thank you," she says, then repeats it, "Thank you."

"Anytime, Hinata."

A few beats of silence pass.

"So what happened with Naruto?" Kiba asks.

She eyes her own fingers as her voice comes out in a whisper. "Ano, I saw his ring."

"…ah."

"They have been engaged for a few months now."

Shino never fails to not mince his words, and she feels grateful for it. But her tongue stays tied and she has no words to form. She doesn't speak.

"How do you feel?"

At this she looks at Kiba, and his eyes are clear – like almost frozen water. She takes notice of it because it's Kiba, and he's always just proud and impulsive and short-tempered, with dog marks and a perpetual habit of teasing her about Naruto. Sometimes it happens – brief moments like this when his voice gets quiet but a lot rougher, when his eyes are canine in their loyalty and affection.

"I don't… It's not – It doesn't hurt as much as I thought it would."

"That's good."

"We'll take it slow, Hinata," Shino tells her, exactly the way he told her yesterday.

For the hundredth time she thanks them – their casual banter and familiar company and support, their broad backs and humored sighs and even their worried gazes that tick her off from time to time. This is them taking it slow (or whatever pace she needed to cope), giving her space and taking up time and witholding some things she can't remember because _you don't have to live up to anything, Hinata_.

"Chichi-ue said that my memories probably lack about a year."

"I expected as much. And then some – sparse memories before that."

"Hmm. Yeah – Hey, Hinata-chan, Lee has a girlfriend."

"Wha-what?"

"Hahaha! We never expected it too! Ino already owns the flower shop, Shikamaru's engaged."

"Stop flustering her, you idiot. Why? Memories are - "

"I thought you said we'd take it slow… is it Temari-san?"

"Uhuh. And I lost my virginity to – oww! Shino, stop that!"

"K-Kiba–kun!"

A few minutes pass by like this and then they have to leave. They bid Shino goodluck on his mission (and to please return safe) and Kiba tells Hinata that they should go to the gathering later together. Sakura's return is today, and she would be back by then. Pleasantries in the form of hugs and back slaps are exchanged and they go their separate ways. Kiba has to return home because of the new puppies, and the sun has yet to set, so she decides to go for a walk.

Her strength isn't back by a hundred percent, not even near, but things are getting better. The training she remembers doing did pay off, and sometimes her lithe and grace catches her off guard. _More_, she tells herself. _More, and I'll train even harder than before._ Naruto taught her this – he taught her the will, and in turn she taught herself how to use it.

It isn't long before she feels the sharp tufts of grass by her feet, smells the faint scent of cinder wood in the air. She sees the barren stretch of cement road ahead of her, and she could almost taste the tang of abandonment curling around the place.

Just farther along the road are the gates of the Uchiha district.

Huh.

Of all the holy things…

_Why in the world am I here?_

She turns around and gives a heavy sigh. The gates had fine structure – the height tall and imposing, but elegant as well, with vines growing over the bricks. But this isn't the time to admire, surely. Her clan's abode was more… traditional, and the difference just caught her a little.

She didn't really want to keep that hanky.

_If Uchiha-san wasn't just so stubborn…_

She walks away and gets to take exactly four steps before her form crumbles down in a fit of hacking coughs. Red mars the green of grass, the paleness of her hands. It seeps through, kind of beautiful in a way. What an irresponsible thing to do – forgetting to take her medication. If her father was here he would have said –

_This is the price._

The humor is not lost on her. Almost, because of the coughs that refuse to stop.

She thought she tasted desertion awhile ago – but perhaps it was really the blood. Regardless, she's a little grateful she has the branch seal when she passes out.

She conviniently cuts out the part where she wouldn't have passed out had it not been for the sealing in the first place.

When she returns to consciousness, only a quarter of an hour has passed and she's in the hospital. She feels lightheaded, but strangely giddy. Probably the morphine.

"How are you feeling?"

She gives a grateful smile to the nurse and says, "I'm okay."

"Good. You missed your medication resulting to a form of relapse. But that's taken care of – try not to miss them again next time, honey."

Her smile turns sheepish.

"Your father was not… informed, as per Sakura-san's orders. Your cases answer directly to her, and she told us she would be the one to handle things."

She made a mental note to bake Sakura some good and delicious brownies. Or cake – whatever she likes. She had asked for a favor from Sakura that there were some things she'd rather her father not know. Luckily, Sakura acquiesced.

"Thank you."

"You can go outside in a while. Be sure to get some rest, okay?" The nurse scribbles some notes down, pats her cheek and stands up to leave. Hinata stares blankly at the white-washed wall in front of her. She's craving for some cinnamon rolls and hibiscus tea.

The nurse leaves the door ajar when she goes outside though, and her ears register a bit of conversation before the door suddenly slams open and Uchiha Sasuke is staring at her, eyes black and wide.

Her expression of shock must look ridiculous.

For a while the only sounds she could hear are their breaths, the soft ruffle of sheets, and the steady hum of aircondition in the room.

He takes a breath when he speaks, and his voice comes out soft and low and each syllable is pronounced so carefully that the words almost echo around the room.

"Second week of spring – what happened?"

She grips the sheets tighter as he continues to stare at her, left hand on the doorway. Even in this place of weakness he stands impassive and strong, black cloth outlining the contours his body had trained for. A trickle of sweat drips down his face, ignored. The light from the fluorescent sharpens the contrast of his skin with the rest of him, including the shadows she doesn't think he would want anyone to see.

To say she's confused would probably be an understatement, given that she couldn't grasp what he was talking about, much less the current situation. It must be evident on her face because even before she speaks his expression closes off. The hand on the doorway returns to his side. He takes a small step backward.

There is no sound until -

"Nevermind."

His eyes fall in some corner of the room, and only then does she realize this: he had looked at her, unflinchingly, for the longest time yet. As far as she knows she was the only person to constantly refuse eye contact, for whatever reason. Although this observation probably doesn't mean anything, seeing as she spent time with him only yesterday.

"Uchiha-san, if I may-"

"Don't do that again," he says, cutting her off.

Immediately after that he leaves, just as Hinata was opening her mouth to – ask him? What? Even she's uncertain.

_What… just happened?_

Good god, not only does she owe him a handkerchief, she owes him another 'thank you' too.

Why was he even there anyway? Oh, right. He was probably the one who found her – she was near the Uchiha compound after all. She brought this on to herself.

The nurse moves toward the door, but stops and looks at her. Sighs, closes the door then walks away. Hinata buries her head in the sheets, breathes in the smell of faded detergent and antiseptic. The fabric feels cool against her cheeks. She tucks her head deeper in the sheets, her propped up knees securing it in place. Slowly, like pipe water dripping from a leakage, her energy seeps out of her and into the sheets, the bed, the floor. It's as if her veins contract at the loss, other passageways closing up. Because it's tiring, dealing with Sasuke all of a sudden, especially since she's never had to interact with him before. Regardless, she cannot ignore what he did for her, try as she might. Her muscles loosen up and she finds herself smiling hesitantly.

_Thank you Uchiha-san, for being kind enough to bring me here._

Now she needs to double the batch of brownies she plans to bake… but what if he didn't like sweets? Well, Naruto will be there tonight at the gathering, she'll ask him what Sasuke likes then. Or tolerates, at least. With a soft sigh she lies back down on the bed, head nestled on the lumpy pillow and eyes closed. Whenever her mind drifts even a little on Naruto it often refuses to stop, but now more than ever she doesn't want that to happen anymore. She would give them this measure of respect, or at least try. And perhaps it helps that thinking of Naruto makes her brain haywire, so safer topics are always welcomed.

She returns home after an hour and goes straight to her room in the branch house. Being a branch house member, her father informed her that she need not report to him directly everyday, although he would still summon her from time to time. Among all, she has his trust - and her eyes soften at the longing to see him again.

_You are still my daughter._

The door to the bathroom opens with a quiet click, she strips off her clothes and fills the tub with water. The scent soaks into her skin, the steam drifting about. This is rest.

She dons her clothes after a few minutes and heads outside to meet with Kiba and Akamaru. He greets her with a smile and a tease, and they make their way to the edge of town, past orange streetlights and food stalls and vendors.

They arrive at their usual place to the aroma of sake and several spices in the air. The place is currently clean, which wouldn't last for long.

"What took you so long!" Ino pinches her cheeks and ruffles Kiba's hair, leading them to the tables.

"Nice to see you too, Ino-san, and welcome back, Sakura-san."

When Kiba shouts an agreement enthusiastically does Hinata feel that everything is so familiar, that even the cracks and the paint on the walls make the place _theirs_. Shikamaru is falling asleep and Chouji is already eating, and with her laugh, the night unfolds.

Amusedly, Hinata notes that it takes approximately two bottles of sake for Ino to get drunk – two bottles which she drank within the hour, and they aren't even finished eating.

"Man, what's taking Naruto so long!"

"He told me he's going to be late." Sakura laughs, and teases him, "You miss him already?"

He winks at her. "Not as much as you, I bet."

"Oh he's here – no wait. They're here."

Hinata turns to look at the doorway and sees Naruto with his usual trademark grin, an arm around Sasuke, who looks as if he wants to kill the blond. He probably does.

Apparently it isn't the first time Sasuke has joined them, since the rest of the rookies act like they always do, with shouts of 'dumbass' and 'you're late' and the usual. Naruto forces Sasuke into a chair and kisses Sakura on the cheek – a sight she avoided in the nick of time – and is then handed a drink by Ino.

Correction: with Naruto's toast, the night unfolds.

* * *

Hours have passed and Hinata pats Kiba on the head as she makes her way outside for some fresh air. Like the last time they've been here, the bar is a mess. Food and food wrappers and drinks and cups are everywhere as if on some dynamic decoration.

"I remember one – hiccup – time someone slapppped me…"

"Fucking hell I feel like –"

"It was part of a legitimate scam!"

Hinata feels a bit bad for thinking their miserable states to be funny, but it doesn't stop her fom laughing, especially when Kiba tries to snuggle with Ino, whom he thought was Akamaru…

She closes the door and steps into the air without the stench of saké. It feels cold on her skin as she shuts her eyes then opens them again. She's always known that Konoha was beautiful in the day, but even more so during the night. The fire flares brighter.

A few steps more and she sees Sasuke sitting under a tree by the edge of the forest, only a few meters away. His eyes are closed, elbow propped on a knee. Everything around him is still.

_Should I go thank him? Now?_

She sighs heavily; she doesn't want to disturb him, not really. Even though he probably already sensed her. She sighs one more time, then moves to sit under another tree, just far enough away. Sasuke doesn't bother opening his eyes.

She leans against the rough bark and breathes in the smell of earth, a pleasing contrast to the taste of saké at the back of her tongue. When she hears him shift she decides to speak, and even in the silence her voice comes out soft.

"Thank you, Uchiha-san."

She forces her hands to remain at her sides, otherwise her pointer fingers would start doing that annoying thing again. From the corner of her eyes – she can't quite look at him yet – she notices him tense for a second then relax. Strange, really, but she doesn't find him scary like this, in this light. The glow from the moon doesn't soften his edges in the least, and his form blends surreptitiously well in the shadows, and the stillness of the night makes him more imposing than ever but those things don't matter to her, somehow. Because all she could think of was that anyone who bothers with someone passed out on the streets couldn't be all that bad. It's the human thing to do – and though people might believe otherwise, Sasuke showed her that, torn though it may be, his humanity is still intact somewhere.

It's all she could ask from anyone.

(And this is what makes her, _her_.)

Perhaps she should go for the brownies after all.

Oh right – she didn't get to ask Naruto about that, dear Merlin. Well, now is as good a time as any!

_Remember Hinata – do. not. stutter._

"Uchiha-san, what would you li-"

"Tomatoes."

Her head snaps to his general direction only to find him already standing up, heading towards the bar, presumably to pick up Naruto. Honestly she didn't expect him to reply at all, and, well, she wasn't really sure what she'd do after that – she'd probably have gone with the brownies. Her face lights up in elation.

_Tomatoes, what a strange thing to like…_

"H-Hai!"

Well, so much for not stuttering.

* * *

The next day she goes to see Sakura in the hospital.

"Hello Hinata-chan!"

She enters the room and Sakura closes the door behind her. Even on early mornings such as this, the renowned medic already smells of disinfectant, and her hands are stained with ink. They're not so different in this respect; her own hands are stained with blood from training. She tried washing it off, but some things are hard to get rid off.

"And? What happened yesterday?" Sakura gives her a stern look; Hinata feels embarrassed.

"Gomen."

She feels Sakura pat her on the forehead, gently. "Don't worry about it, don't do it next time, though."

"Hai. Ano, I wanted to thank you – for everything," hurriedly she gives the basket filled with different brownies she had baked earlier, "I know it's not much, but…"

Sakura takes the basket and peers inside the cloth. Immediately her senses are assaulted with the smell of freshly baked sweets and flour, and if her eyes are correct there are atleast three different kinds of brownies inside. Her mouth waters.

"Hinata-chan," she says, taking out a brownie and eating it, "You are the god of sweets!"

Hinata laughs at her antics.

"I'll share them with Naruto and Ino and do you want some?" Sakura takes another. "Too bad I can't share them with Sasuke, well, he doesn't really like sweets…"

Thank god she asked him what he liked.

"Anyway, thank you so much Hinata-chan!"

"Ano, Uchiha-san is out on a mission?" Hinata asks.

"He left just now, I think," She looks at Hinata then, "Why?"

Sakura moves to her table to place the basket of brownies next to a pile of papers. Hinata feels herself redden in embarrassment at the reminder of what happened yesterday. Because of that she made sure to take her medication a while ago – although she suspects it won't be much of a problem in the next few days. She didn't know how, but somehow Neji found out about her carelessness. He looked like a strict mother hen this morning.

"Ah, I wanted to show my gratitude for y-yesterday."

"Oh right, I remember Sumi-san mentioning that. I don't know how long he'll be gone though."

"It's okay, I better be going." Hinata opens the door. "It was nice seeing you, Sakura-san."

"You too!"

She heads to the training grounds with nothing better to do – she isn't allowed any missions yet for this week. Fainting yesterday certainly didn't help with her situation. She then goes through her usual katas with relative ease, small tufts of grass shifting under her weight. She sighs and wonders when she would be able to properly thank Sasuke. He's out on a mission that could last for weeks, and she feels a small pang of envy; she wanted to go on missions too.

When Sasuke finally finishes his mission in two weeks, Hinata doesn't get the chance to give him something with tomatoes – probably a pasta.

This is because her mind is filled with anxiety, and although she is placed on the recovery team and is finally allowed on a mission – it doesn't help one bit.

Shino didn't come back.

* * *

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**AN: **the scene in the moonlight: when Hinata looks at Sasuke, she doesn't only see his reputation, his looks and all.

Sorry for the late update! Here is the next chapter, and please leave a review guys, I want to hear your thoughts on what should happen next!

Thank you for the reviews you left me last chapter, they certainly helped with how I constructed this chapter!

Question: Do you want Itachi to live?


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